Welcome to HHM Land!

we should never have expectations in a relationship. they always lead us to huge disappointment and upsetting incidences.

but then again, how can we not expect? how can we not want others to reciprocate?

it all comes down to a reflection of our human condition--- that we are weak and dependent on others for friendship and companionship.

everyone needs friends. everyone wants people to love them and shower them with attention and words of affirmation. everyone wants to feel good about themselves and be enlightened on their merits. everyone needs a listening ear.

having said all that, sometimes i choose to coop myself up in my own misery and troubles because i know you find it hard to be there for me. there are many of such 'you' out there. its not your fault. i know its difficult to understand me and whatever i'm going through.

maybe i dun call you because i dun want people to know. i want others to have that happy, cheerful impression of me in their minds. i don't want to change others' impression of me, and there's no good reason to want that change.

in any way, its nobody's fault. sometimes i do approach you and you sound too tired or frustrated to listen to me. i dun blame you. you have your own troubles in life.

sometimes i dun approach you because i dun want to. that's not your fault either.

sometimes i just dun bother to think of approaching anyone cuz i know it's not going to help.

sometimes i choose to turn to noone but to pray becuz God is the only solace and comfort I can source from.

i sound disgruntled. i am. but i know this phase will pass and i would have moved on in life before i realize it again. and maybe when we start spending more time together, i'll come to love each and everyone of you again.