Welcome to HHM Land!

to enzie: u're like my soulmate. i dunno wat kind of person i would have become if not for u. we're such an old couple already. haha.

en and i walked into accesorize and saw a gazillion nice stuff from their new christmas collection. i love the reindeer hairband! hahhaha...so i decided to make a christmas wishlist. (signal to wei...haha. i know u love me.) a christmas wishlist is supposed to reduce societal deadweight loss.

1. the cute reindeer hairband that transforms me into rudolph's friend.
2. the cuddly white la senza bear, also known affectionately as 小白. i believe christmas presents are incomplete without an addition to my village of animals (mostly rabbits) collection.
3. pocket bible- NIV version or a pocket bilingual bible -NIV version.
4. a set of pastel coloured pens. i always think about getting them but i never do.
5. a nicely-designed pocket calendar. (those that have blank spaces, and not lines)
6. those HP chair/ cushion thing that helps your HP sit on your table.
7. diamonds and jewels are girls' best friends. hahhaha...
8. no notebooks please!! i still have tons accumulated from past year christmas presents...
9. stylish, sophisticated, useful and not tasteless presents.
10. a christmas hug from all the lovely beings out there.

christmas is a season filled with love! i feel too joyous to mug.

It's the end of Semester 1. exams are not over, but at least lectures and tutorials are. at the end of which, i think i really grew up a lot.

when academic pressures coming from assignments, projects, tests and other issues all come together, i learn to deal with them. i have my share of mental blocks, physical exhaustion and emotional struggles, but I know God has been with me all this time.

This semester, I experienced a recounciliation of my relationship with God. At the start of sem, i was struggling to cope with my ministries. The ever-present trap is to rely on my own strength. and then i go down, down and down. i remember having a anger-charged outburst during one of my sunday school classes, exclaiming how sick i am of having so many ministries to cope with. Sometimes i get so caught up in my stress and overloaded schedules that i've forgotten the purpose for serving. God has restored me through miraculous ways. I was very amazed how God actually brought restoration to me by leading me to help a friend in need. Sometimes when we help others see God, we ourselves experience closer encounters with God. Joining Bizad VCF has definitely helped me with my walk of God. Even though they don't know me well and didn't know the spiritual low that i was experiencing, they were there to guide, to help, to show me that God is always with me. (Emmanuel!)

I remember going through identity-searching this semester. If you read one of my previous posts, I talked about the temptations that I've experienced in university. Never have I thought university is such a scary place! I can't say it's not that bad. University is like a stepping stone to the REAL world. I'm intimidated, and yet, i find it exciting. excitingly scary. Sometimes my principles are being plunged into jeopardy and many times, unknowingly. I really learnt how important it is for me to have a close walk with God. When I don't, i feel insecure, uncertain, sometimes doing things that are unlike me.

Academic-wise, i struggle to understand the 'tricks' of doing well. *we got A+ for our socio of tourism paper! kudos to jiehui and kaishi!* I'm pretty much contented with my results so far. we should always celebrate small victories and discount the little failures (they're eventually insignificant to us!).

Whenever people ask me about university, i would tell them that the workload is shittily insane but socially, life is good. I enjoy the Boran camaraderie. Old friends are cool too. Its very different to hang out with old friends and new friends. When I talk to old friends, I always feel very comforted by them. It's just a very warm and soothing feeling. It makes me treasure my old friends more.

Life has become so different since the JC days. Somehow, i'm sighing as i type this. But I don't know why i'm sad about that. maybe i can't bear to grow up. i still want to be a kid. i'm still a kid. i'm only 19. i just wanna be a kid. i love being a kid and i love to kid. (okie, not funny)

Some things are too complicated to be explained here.

To end this, i shall quote an analogy from one of my favourite writers, CS Lewis:
Women sometimes have the problem of trying to judge by artificial light how a dress will look by daylight. That is very like the problem of all of us: to dress our souls not for the electric lights of the present world but for the daylight of the next. The good dress is the one what will face that light. For that light will last longer.

its 1.10 AM in the morning.

i'm at nick's house.

with keith.

doing wat?

stats project.

started since 3pm.

its been 10 hours.

im going crazy.

goodnight.

i shall go home soon.

huijie has inspired me to make a list of food that reminds me of my friends...
i have a habit of eating/ drinking these stuff when i miss them.

green tea: elise
guava: huijie
bread: cass
grapes: covenant group
takopachi: elise
crystal jade: enzie
cup noodles with egg: huijie

cant think of anymore....

i know im gonna have a horrible weekend this week...so i shall sleep early in preparation of it. goodnight.

recently, so much has been said but we have not come up with a plan....

lack of power to speak.

no mutual respect.

wat is the world coming to??!!?!




breaking beneath our feet.

I realized that Boran pple can now see my blog cuz im linked to the Boran blog. sad. i like to lead a private life. so why did i set up a blog?!??!! i dunno. hhaha...

im totally not in the condition to blog. my mind is now in a mess. all the commercialization and commodification ideas for tourism are floating about my brain....like many harry potters flying on broomsticks and shooting themselves across the constrained space of my brain.

okie i better get back to finishing dat tourism essay.